


I Will Hold on With All of My Might

by orphan_account



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-07
Updated: 2012-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-15 20:26:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Thor is the one that suffers at the hand of Odin.</p>
<p>Inspired by <a href="http://norsekink.livejournal.com/11219.html?thread=24069843#t24069843">this prompt</a> on the Norsekink: "What if Thor was abused by Odin for years growing up. Maybe he didn't think anyone would believe him, because he was the golden prince and Odin's favourite. </p>
<p>I'd quite like to see something where Loki finds out and takes his brothers side. Loki helps Thor stand up to Odin and is basically the best brother ever, revealing Odin for the nasty person he is. </p>
<p>It could be set while they were still children or when they were grown up, I don't mind."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Will Hold on With All of My Might

If he had known what to look for Loki would have figured it out much sooner, he was sure, as hindsight is a friend to all. As it was, Loki had trusted his Father, had loved him and admired him. Although he had never felt anything but love for Thor, he had often been jealous of the time their Father spent with his brother over him. 

It was always Thor who accompanied Father on his Royal visits, always Thor who benefited from Father’s solo training, always Thor who Father paraded around as his pride and joy, the jewel in his crown, more precious to him than anything he had locked away in the vaults.

If he had looked harder, would he have seen the misery in his brother’s eyes? If he had focused his energies more on the loving and honest Thor, instead of his Father, would he have seen the lying, manipulating, cold-hearted old man for what he was?

Hindsight is a friend to all but a comforter of none, for certain. 

The downfall of Odin started, as many stories do, innocently enough. Young Loki had grown weary of his own company and had gone to his Father’s chambers to show him the new magic spells he had been learning. As he waited for his Father to return he looked over the view from the balcony. In the courtyard below he saw Thor’s friends Sif, Fandral, Valstagg and Hogun but no Thor. Loki spared a moment to wonder where his brother was, eyes gathering in a frown, when he was startled by loud crashing sound in the corridor outside. 

He walked lightly towards the a-jar door, listening intently. He recognised his Father’s voice but something in the tone the King used was alien and brought Loki’s heart to beat in his throat. 

“Quiet, Boy! Have I not told you before?”

Loki heard a scuffle and the sound of a protest, quickly cut off by a loud thud. As the noise grew closer Loki backed away from the entrance. He did not want his Father to find him in his chambers in such a mood. He pulled open the wardrobe draw and jumped inside, just as the chamber doors swung open. 

“Father, let me go back to my friends, please. They’ll wonder where I have gone.”

A shiver ran down Loki’s spine as, through the wardrobe door, he heard Thor’s voice, unnaturally soft, echo around the room. What had Thor done to make Father so mad at him? Loki dared to press his eye against the slim opening of the wardrobe door. He was forced to clamp a hand over his own mouth to stop a gasp escaping him. A dark bruise was forming over Thor’s eye and Father was gripping his jaw tightly, pushing him to the centre of the room.

The King growled, “Nobody will wonder where you are Thor, they never do. You’ll tell them I was going over your studies with you, like normal. You think they’d question their King?” 

Odin shoved Thor to the floor and Loki quickly leaned closer to the door to keep his brother in sight. 

“No, Father,” Thor murmured. 

“Good. Now, let’s get started. Get on the bed.” 

Thor’s despondent face filled Loki with fear. His older brother sluggishly got to his feet and sat down on the bed. Loki carried on watching as Thor’s blue eyes followed their Father’s movements, the old man taking off his robes and mounting the bed too.

Loki scrambled to the back of the wardrobe. He stared in shock at the thin sliver of light coming though the gap in the doors. A groan coming from beyond the doors brought him back to his senses and he clasped his hands to his ears, trying to block out the building sounds from his Father and brother on the bed. He could still see the corner of the bed from his hiding place and as the noises coming from the King grew louder, so did the movement of the bed until Loki scrunched his eyes up and buried his head between his knees. 

He did not know how long he stayed in that wardrobe but when he lifted his head up once more, the light was colder and the room beyond his wardrobe was quiet. Loki took several calming breaths, trying to delay having to process what he had just witnessed. As he opened the wardrobe door with a shaking hand, his heart stopped. Odin had gone but Thor, with his golden hair in disarray, was still sitting on the bed in the middle of the room, buckling up one of his wrist plates. When he saw Loki emerge from the wardrobe he froze, the colour draining from his face. 

“Loki,” he breathed.

Loki stuttered, “Thor. I – I didn’t mean – I didn’t know –”

Thor stood and glowered, “You forget it, Loki. I mean it. You didn’t see anything, alright?”

Loki approached his brother, hands entreating, “No, Thor, it’s alright, I can help –”

“No!” Thor yelled and grabbed Loki’s shoulders tightly, “You don’t breathe a word to anyone.” From this close Loki could see the tears in his brother’s bloodshot eyes. “If you ever speak of this again I will make you rue the day, Loki, I swear it.”

Loki stared at his brother for a moment before nodding. Thor let go of his shoulders, took a cursory look around the chamber and shoved past him out of the door. 

Loki let out a shaky breath he had been holding. 

~

Frigga was sitting in one of the walled gardens in the palace grounds when she looked up to see her youngest son hurriedly walking towards her. 

Something in the glint in his eye made her close the book she was reading and reach out her arms towards him. 

“Loki, my darling, what is the matter?”

Her son ran into her arms and clung to her like he had not done in many years. 

“Mother,” the boy spoke into her neck.

Frigga pushed Loki away and brushed his hair away from his face. “Loki, what troubles you?” she asked, directing Loki to sit back down on the bench with her. 

“I promised I wouldn’t say,” Loki whispered. 

She felt her chest tighten at these words. “If it has upset you this much, perhaps you should. Not all promises are good.”

“I can’t.” 

Frigga took a deep breath. Although she wanted her son to tell her more of what had upset him, she knew Loki may close up even more if she pushed him. “Alright. Let us walk.”

After a few minutes of walking through the sunlit gardens, pointing out various plants and birds, Loki turned incredibly quiet for a while, before stopping. 

Keeping his eyes firmly on the ground, he spoke softly, “Mother, what would you do if you knew someone to be wrong, to be a liar, but everybody else believes them and loves them. Should you let everyone carry on happy in the dark and say nothing or should you say something, even if people wouldn’t like it.”

Frigga’s heart beat faster in her chest, images of treachery and war flashing in front of her eyes. “My darling, I know you have promised not to say anything, but the truth is always better than lies, even if it is not pleasant.” She paused and raised her fingers to Loki’s chin, bringing his bright eyes to face hers, “I’m always here, if you or Thor need to talk to me about anything, anything at all.” 

Loki seemed pleased with her answer, quickly saying, “Yes, Mother. Thank you,” before he kissed her cheek and turned to walk away.

Frigga followed Loki’s retreating back with her eyes until she could see him no more. She worried her lip between her teeth for a moment. She would have to keep a check on Loki for the next few days, to make sure nothing truly terrible had happened.

~

It took a long time after his conversation with his Mother for Loki to find Thor again. Eventually he found his brother alone in the training room. Thor turned as he approached.

“Brother. It’s been a while since you stepped foot in these rooms, has it not?” He spoke, smirk plastered across his face.

Loki let his eyes travel over his brother’s body, determining that he didn’t seem any worse off than usual. “Indeed. I’d almost forgotten it existed, which is probably why it took me so long to find you here.”

Thor’s smile faltered. As he spoke he raised his sword once more to resume practise, “You were searching for me? Why?”

“Why do you think?”

“Loki, if you truly love me you will forget it, please.”

Loki spoke sternly, “I do truly love you, Thor. That’s why I cannot.”

Thor let out an exasperated sigh and dropped his sword on the floor. “Very well. You want to go over every detail with fine tooth comb? Fine, but not here.”

Thor led Loki to his own chambers, the ones Thor had taken over after he left the rooms he and Loki had shared many years ago. 

Thor sat down on the window seat. “Why were you spying on me anyway?”

“I wasn’t spying on you. I wanted to show Father something and hid when I heard him shouting.” Loki paused and looked down at his clasped hands, “I’m sorry I didn’t stop it. I could’ve. I was just –” he looked up to catch the levelled expression on Thor’s face, “I was just scared, I supposed. I’m not proud of it.”

Thor dragged a hand over his face. He suddenly looked much older than his young years. “Don’t think on it Loki, it wouldn’t have made any difference anyway.”

Loki walked over to sit down next to his older brother. “Something he said – has he done this before?”

Thor grimaced and sniffed, “Only all the time, for years. I can hardly remember a time before.”

“Thor, I’m sorry. I should’ve noticed.” Loki placed his arm around Thor’s shoulders. 

Thor blinked his eyes clear and shook his head. “I’ve just tried not to think too hard about it, really. If I actually thought on it, I –” Loki held his brother close as tears began to fall from his eyes, “Loki, I cannot stand it anymore. I cannot carry on like this, it makes me sick.”

Loki pressed a kiss onto Thor’s head and spoke lowly, “We must tell Mother, she –”

Thor stood up quickly. “No! We can’t tell anybody. You promised you wouldn’t!” Thor started pulling at his hair. 

“Thor, stop.” Loki stood and took Thor’s hands in his.

“She won’t believe me. Nobody would believe me. He’s my Father and the King.” 

“I believe you. Mother would believe you too, I know she would.” 

Thor leaned forward, burying his face in Loki’s neck. “I don’t want anyone to know, Loki.”

Loki closed his eyes slowly and wrapped his arms around his brother. He whispered, “Thor, you have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing at all. None of this was your fault.”

Thor didn’t respond, but pulled away from Loki and sank down to the floor at the bottom of his bed. Loki followed him down.

He tucked a strand of Thor’s hair behind his ear. “You truthfully do not want to tell anyone?” Thor shook his head in his hands. Loki knew that, though it would be better for all if the truth about Odin came to light, he could not force Thor to do anything he did not want. He took a deep breath. “Alright then, we’ll leave. Midgard is probably the safest place, they don’t know us there.”

Loki stood and looked over Thor’s room. “We will not have room to take much, so bring only exactly what you will need.”

“Loki.” He heard Thor’s voice from behind him, “What are you talking about?”

“We can’t stay here. Not if Odin’s going to carry on like this. If you don’t want to tell anyone then we have no choice but to leave.”

Thor looked up at him from where he sat. “You would come with me?”

“Oh Thor,” he took Thor’s arms and brought him to stand opposite him, “of course I’m coming with you, you’re my brother.” Loki nodded while he spoke, “You’ve been on your own long enough, I wouldn’t let you go by yourself now.”

Thor smiled, “Thank you, brother.”

“Don’t think on it, Thor. Get packed, we’ll meet back here in an hour.”

~

Loki was on his way back to Thor’s chambers, with a satchel full of his favourite books, robes and a few other artefacts he couldn’t bear to be parted from (he may have stolen a necklace from his Mothers dresser as well), when he bumped into the King. 

“Good evening, Loki. Where are you off to in such a hurry?” 

His Father was smiling down at him indulgently and it made Loki squirm on the spot. This morning he would have flourished under his Father’s attention, but now he could not look him in the eye. 

“Sorry, Sir. I promised Thor I would help him with his studies, I don’t want to be late.” 

He ran down the corridor, not sparing a look back at the perplexed looking King. 

~

Loki burst in to Thor’s chambers, where he found the Prince sitting on his bed, bag packed at his side.

“Are you ready?” Loki asked, nerves tingling. 

“Yes. Let us leave.” Thor took hold of Loki’s arm and steered them into the corridor.

“We have to be careful, I saw Father on my way over here.” Loki warned. Thor locked his jaw.

They had no gotten far when they heard footsteps chasing behind them. Turning sharply, Loki sighed in relief when he saw Fandral at the bottom of the corridor.

“Thor!” Fandral yelled as he came jogging up to them, “Where have you been?” He nodded at Loki in greeting before turning once more to talk to Thor, “It’s been days - Thor, what on earth happened to your eye?”

Thor’s hand came up to the bruise on his eye as he stared blankly at his friend. 

“Thor?” Fandral carried on when Thor didn’t answer, “Are you alright?”

Thor turned to Loki, eyes begging. 

“It was me, actually,” Loki said, clapping his brother on the shoulder, “I managed to get the better of him in training earlier, though he’s rather loathe to admit it!”

Thor breathed out and smiled, “Yes. He is much improved since our last bout. I was mistakenly expecting an easy fight, that’s all.”

Fandral laughed. “Little Loki’s got something in him after all?” he jested, smiling at Loki. “Will we see you at dinner tonight? Sif’s been asking after you?”

“Indeed. Loki and I have some business to attend to first though, so we may be a little late.” Thor’s voice roughened with his desire to get away.

“Alright, I won’t keep you. See you two later.” He gave Thor a parting clap on the arm and disappeared around the corner.

Loki walked up to where Thor was staring at the now empty corridor. “Thor? We shouldn’t wait.”

Thor looked at him for a moment before answering, “Yes, of course, let us not tarry.”

When they finally reached the bi-frost they paused. Thor turned to him, worry clouding his face. “How are we to get past Heimdall?”

Loki began to answer, “I shall –”

“I know why it is you have come here.” Heimdall’s deep voice cut him off from inside bi-frost platform. 

Loki walked on to the platform, ignoring him, “Heimdall, we need to pass –”

Heimdall turned his gaze to the two Princes. “I know what you seek. I know why you seek it.”

“You know what, exactly?” Thor growled as he stepped past Loki towards the Gatekeeper.

Heimdall was silent for a while. When he spoke, he voice was low and slow, “I have known for a great time what acts the King commits against you.”

Loki’s indignity rose in his chest until it spilled over. “You knew? Why did you not say anything?” He could feel tears welling in his eyes, “You are supposed to be responsible for the safety of Asgard! Is not the Crown Prince the very core of what Asgard is? You coward, you –”

“Loki, leave him be.” Thor laid a hand on his arm, glaring at Heimdall, “We will find another way to leave.”

As they turned to leave the platform, Heimdall’s voice followed them, “I am filled with regret, my Prince, for not taking action sooner. I am bound to honour the King’s wishes.”

Loki shook off Thor’s grasp in anger and rounded on the Gatekeeper, “Bound are you? What’s suddenly changed then?”

Heimdall looked closely at Loki then to Thor, “I see that he shall no longer be King.”

“What are you talking about?” Thor’s eyes narrowed and he slowly walked back to his brother’s side.

“You need to tell your Mother what has come to pass.”

Thor scoffed and turned away from the other two. “She will not believe me, she is his Wife.”

“She is your Mother first, Thor, she will believe you.”

“Yes and the King is my Father and look what he did!” Anger filled Thor’s voice, making it shake. 

Heimdall walked to where Thor stood, taking his shoulder with his hand. “Thor, you must be brave. Asgard does not need a liar and a brute for a King.”

“I did not need a liar and a brute for a Father.” Thor spoke with such vehemence that Heimdall let his hand fall away. “Asgard cannot know, they will think I am weak!”

Heimdall shook his head solemnly, “No, they will see Odin for what he really is, a fraud and a manipulator. You have nothing to fear from the truth, my Prince.”

Loki took in the scene before him. “He’s right, Thor. We should return and explain to Mother. She will know what to do. She will take our side, Thor, I promise she will.”

Thor spoke softly, “But what if she doesn’t?”

Loki looked around, searching for an answer. “Then we will return to the bi-frost and Heimdall will let us pass.” He settled his gaze upon Thor, willing him to agree.

Thor continued to look doubtful when Heimdall spoke, “It will not come to that, but I will not hinder you if you return here.” 

Loki stepped closer to Thor, who had now focused his gaze upon the ground. “Brother?” Loki questioned. After what felt like an eternity he saw his brother give a small nod and sighed in relief. 

“Come, dinner will not have started yet, she will still be in the gardens.” Loki took his brother’s hand and led him back towards Asgard. 

~

Frigga raised her hand to her mouth to keep imprisoned the wails that threatened to escape. 

“Mother, please, you must believe me.” Her eldest son’s voice possessed an out of character waver as he spoke to her. 

“It is true, Mother, I saw it myself.” Loki pleaded with her. 

Frigga reached out to them, “Of course I believe you, my children. Of course I do, although it breaks my heart to do it. Thor, come to me, my boy.”

Thor stepped towards her and she engulfed him in her arms. “Mother,” he spoke into her embrace tears finally flowing freely down his face, “I did not think you would believe it.”

She kissed his forehead. “I do not doubt you for a second, sweetheart. I’m only sorry I did not see it myself.” 

Loki looked upon the two, relief spreading through his body. Mother knew. It would all be alright now, she would make sure it was alright. 

~

As night fell Loki stayed with Thor in the antechamber to the throne room. Huddled together like they were children once more, they listened as Frigga, aided by Heimdall, confronted the King on all his misbehaviours in the next room. Loki held on to Thor as they heard their Father yell his denials, fervently branding Thor a liar. It went on and on into the early hours when Loki found himself jerked awake, having fallen asleep on his brother’s shoulder, by their Father charging through the room. 

Both he and Thor jumped up, ready for action, but all that transpired was Odin glaring at them both with hatred, then sweeping from the room. As he left their Mother came in and came over to them. 

“He is leaving. It has been agreed that he shall remain on Alfheim. I shall be Regent until you are of age, Thor.” She spoke with an exhausted sort of calm. 

“What, so Thor is King?” he asked.

“In name, yes, though he won’t have any real power until he is older.” Frigga turned to Thor, “Thor? Do you understand?”

“He will never come back, them? I will never have to see him again?” his brother questioned, voice hoarse. 

Frigga gave a sad smile. “Never again, Thor. I promise.” She tucked Thor’s hair behind his ears and kissed him on the cheek, before turning to Loki and doing the same. “Now both of you off to bed, you need your rest. I’ll come to you in the morning and we can talk some more.”

When they walked back to their chambers, Thor stopped outside Loki’s door. “Loki,” he started, looking shattered, “I don’t know if I said, but thank you. Thank you for helping me. I don’t know what would’ve happened in the end, without your help.”

Loki smiled, “You don’t have to thank me, Thor. I know you would do the same for me.” He kissed his brother lightly on the cheek. “Goodnight, Thor.”

“Goodnight, Brother.”

_Con-crit is welcome._

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the dodgy characterisation, taking the easy route, random point of view change. I sort of just head bashed the keyboard until sentences came out. I imagine Loki is about 14 here and Thor 16? The title is from Mumford & Son’s ‘The Ghosts That We Knew’, as I have had their album on repeat for weeks. Also - do you think it's slightly awkward when Frigga is talking about how lying is bad ... maybe this is an AU where Loki isn’t a frost giant at all. :/ Finally, sorry if my language goes a bit crazy every now and then. I was watching ‘Henry V’ while writing *cough*Tom Hiddleston*cough* and it may have gotten into my brain.


End file.
